literature

What's Wrong With Me

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Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, Wade Martin took a deep breath as he relaxed in the solitude of the moment. Davis White sat next to him on the bench just as quiet as he was. They had both cut class to get a moment alone together, it was rare that they got to enjoy any amount of peace so they both relished it whenever they did. Not that they didn’t enjoy beating up a few wimps on a daily basis, but it was still nice to just relax every once in a while.
Taking another deep breath Wade allowed his thoughts to drift back to the meeting he had had with Dr. Bambillo a few days ago. A meeting that left him with a lot more on his mind then what he had gone there with…
“How is his home life compared to yours? Do you know if he has any problems?”
“Well from what I’ve seen his is much better than mine, but it hasn’t seemed to do him any good!” Wade informed the man.
“What do mean?” The doctor questioned
“I don’t know why and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t either but every now and then he will just start crying and can’t stop! It’s not like a whiney complain cry either, there’s like this level of emotion to it like the way people cry when they attend a funeral or something! It’s pretty freaky but he doesn’t make too much of a fuss over it!” There was a noticeable amount of concern behind Wade’s tone.
“So the two of you will just be sitting around talking and enjoying yourselves and out of nowhere he will start to cry uncontrollably?”
“Yep! I ‘ve seen him do it quite a few times.” Wade replied.
“Hmm sounds like he may have some emotional problems going on.” Dr. Bambillo told him as he leaned back in his chair pondering the information he had just received.
“Really? You think so?” Wade questioned wanting to know more, so that maybe he could do something to help Davis with whatever problem he had.
“Definitely! Usually when people can’t control their emotions as with Davis and his crying there could be a number of things going on. They may have some emotional issue they are suppressing and may not even remember it consciously but subconsciously it’s still there and can sometime trigger emotions without the memory resurfacing.”
Wade sat up straight for the first time since he had been there that day and his eyes seemed to widen just slightly as he waited for the doctor to continue.
“There is also a chance he may be suffering from depression, anxiety, or just everyday stress. It’s hard to tell if he hasn’t sought out any medical attention for it though. If it’s what you say it is then he should definitely go and see his doctor about it, you don’t want a potentially bad problem to grow even worse.” The doctor informed him.
Wade looked down at the floor a bit melancholy, the information the doctor had just given him seemed to strike a nerve somewhere deep inside him. It was almost as if the information had upset him to some degree, even more than he already was.
“Oh wow, I didn’t know that,” Wade’s voice had returned to the strained state it had been at earlier.  “I’ll mention it to him …..The next time I see him…”
Wade thought about mentioning it to him right then and there but was hesitant to disturb the peace that had settled over the two of them when suddenly he heard it…
It was unmistakable, to him at least, he recognized that sound anywhere, that all too familiar whimper that signalized one of Davis’ episodes. Promptly sitting up straight and snapping his head to the side Wade cocked a somewhat frustrated look at his boyfriend. Davis had his face turned away from him and buried in one of his hands, his ears were bright red and he was trembling just slightly.
Wade sat silent and continued to stare at the boy hoping by some miracle he wouldn’t start up again, but he knew it was going to happen. As if on cue Davis suddenly burst into a fit of uncontrollable sobs. As irritated as he was, Wade still felt a twinge of agony whenever it happened. It was obvious that Davis had tried to stop it because he literally smothered his own face with his hands in a desperate attempt to keep himself together, but as always his attempts proved to be futile.
Knowing Wade was easily irritated by his crying; Davis stood from his seat on the bench and began to trudge away.
“God Damn it!” Wade voiced out loud all the while still feeling guilty by his own irritation. He knew he shouldn’t be so pissed at the other boy especially now that he had some professional insight as to what might be wrong with him. Rising from his own seat he quickly hurried after his lover.
“Davis!” He called after him trying to hide his frustrated tone.
“Davis wait a minute hold on a second!”
But Davis kept moving, that is until he was forced to stop when Wade darted in front of him.
“Davis come on man stop it okay? Get a hold of yourself!”
The brown haired boy merely stood there and said nothing as he continued to wail into his own hands. Starting to feel desperate to get him to stop Wade reached up and pried his hands away from his face, Now that he had a good look at him actually seeing his expression caused his heart to lurch violently. He could tell that as always this wasn’t some fake whiney cry, it was genuine, with authentic tears and all. His eyes gave a look confirming that he was truly upset about something, the only question was what? What was he so upset about that made him cry like that? Even Davis himself didn’t know.
Feeling even more guilt ridden than he did a moment ago, Wade again attempted to console the boy.
“Davis please!” He begged, “Come on man stop it already!”
But it was no use, Davis simply could not stop crying at will. Staring to feel his own emotions rattle Wade reached up and this time placed his hands on Davis’ face and using his thumbs tried to wipe away his tears.
“Davis come on pull yourself together!” Wade’s voice was low as he spoke to him and this time held a sincere tone to it. Still sobbing, Davis made a rather pathetic attempt to explain himself even though Wade didn’t need him to do so.
“I… I…” He started but struggled to get the words out.
“I’m sorry!” He wailed, knowing he looked like a bitch at the moment.
“I…I… just can’t help it… I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” Was all he managed to get out before he started to choke on his own tears.
Feeling sorry for him and wanting to help, Wade pulled him into an embrace, wrapping his arms tightly around him, and Davis although very emotional returned the gesture.
“God damn it Davis we have got to get you some help, but until we do its cool man, just relax.” Wade told him as he rubbed his back.
“It’s alright just calm down, the others will be here soon you don’t want them to see you like this do you!?”
There was a brief silence,
“…No…” Was Davis’ answer.
“ Okay then!” Wade replied firmly, “Get it together already!”
Davis shook his head in acknowledgement of the red head’s demand.
“I’m sorry…” He spoke up, truly remorseful for ruining their perfect moment they had been having earlier.
Releasing Davis from his embrace, Wade reached up to his face again pulling it closer to his. Davis felt the other boys lips press firmly against his own and almost instantly found himself regaining control of his rattled emotions. Wade planted several kisses on Davis’ mouth and face, nothing too provocative but just enough to help calm him down. As Wade went to pull away Davis grabbed him by the sleeves of his shirt and pulled him back in, wanting more than just a few pecks on the cheek.
More than willing to give his boyfriend whatever he wanted Wade happily obliged. However before they could really take the time to enjoy themselves and get into it, they were both startled away from one another by the sound of the bell ringing that signaled the end of morning classes. They both unwilling broke the kiss off and started at one another, still clutching tightly to each other, neither of them not really wanting to let the other go but at the same time not willing to give anybody else a free show either.
Eventually though they both released the other, Wade ran a hand through his bright red hair and Davis wiped away any remaining traces of tears from his face. They both backed away from the wall they had been near as the chatter from the other students who had been let out of class began to fill their ears.
Making certain their appearances were in check they both shot each other a look that only the two of them could read. It wasn’t long before the other bullies filed into the parking lot greeting the two of them, completely oblivious to what had just taken place.
Summary: Skipping class to enjoy some time together Wade and Davis' rare moment of peace is interrupted by Davis once again losing control of his emotions. Tied in with Wade's chapter in 'You Have No Idea'.
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